What Can’t I Complain About?

22 02 2010

As one of my friends put it to me this past week, I like to complain, a lot. He was talking to me about how wonderful Iowa Wrestling has been this season, and I began to complain about aspects of the team that I thought we had to improve. He then posed a question to me: “what can’t you complain about?” As he threw out things that he thought I couldn’t complain about, I proved him wrong, every single time. A small sampling:

Going to the Bar

Going to the bar is great, you are out with a bunch of people who like to drink, and are all having a good time. With that said, there are some really bad aspects of going to the bar. First, drinks are overpriced. Would I like to pay $5 to drink a beer that costs me $0.50 when I buy it in a case? No, but that’s what you have to do when you go to drink at a bar. Second, how many times am I going to have to hear “Tonight’s Gonna Be A Good Night” by the Black Eyed Peas? Well, when you go to a bar, it seems that you have to hear it at least four times throughout the night. Third, the music is blaring, making people want to drink more and more. This in turn, makes me want to drink more to cope with how obnoxious they are.

Iowa Football

You would think that you can’t complain about this topic after the year we just had, right? Wrong. Yeah, we won the Orange Bowl, we have a true patriot leading our team with his “love it or leave it” attitude, and we have a guy who likes to eat your quarterback for breakfast. I’m still pissed that we can’t beat justNorthwestern in Kinnick since 2005. I’m pissed that Ricky Stanzi had to have his ankle explode in the endzone, and ruin our plans for a National Championship. I’m pissed that we had to send in a Redshirt Freshmen to face Ohio State in the Horseshoe a week later, and we decide to take a knee at the end of regulation to take our chances in overtime. I’m still pissed that we lost that damn game. I’m pissed that we had to then settle for the Orange Bowl, and not Pasedena. I want some roses folks, not oranges.

The City of Chicago

God I love this city. There is a bar across the street from where I live, it’s the home of the Cubs, Wrigley is within walking distance, and it’s just plain better than where you live (unless you live in Chicago). Seems like I don’t have a complaint about it, right? Oh no, you are mistaking. First, Richard Daley, the most corrupt politician that is plain running this city into the ground. We sign a deal to privatize the parking meters here for the next 75 years, and we have wasted almost all of that money in less than two years. Great job Mayor Daley. Speaking of him, what’s the difference between Daley and Hitler? Hitler actually was able to get the Olympics. Second, a 10% sales tax. Yes, you read that correctly, we pay 10 cents on every dollar we spend. Where is that money going? Straight into the Alderman’s pockets, Daley’s pockets, and to the countless number of unneccesary city employees. Third, the CTA. It used to be an easy task to get around until their unions got greedy. As a result, service cuts have been put in place, and now the trains are packed like cattle cars when it’s rush hour. When it’s not rush hour, don’t expect a train for about 10-15 minutes if you just missed one running up to the platform. I’m going to stop complaining now, I think you get the fact that I can complain about the City of Chicago plenty.

In between my regular blogging, I will take submissions for topics you don’t think that I can complain about. If you think you know of something that I can’t complain about, drop me an e-mail and I will post your topic with an appropriate complaint to follow.